


an opportunity to go to the moon

by moonjujujun



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Breakups, Grief/Mourning, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, Songfic, aa a aa a aa a a, astronaut!junhui, idk what to tag lmao, it's all in lowercase bc im Edgy like that lmao, junhui is so sad this broke my heart while writing it, painter!minghao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonjujujun/pseuds/moonjujujun
Summary: junhui wants to see minghao again before he flees to the moon. he couldn't just abandon everything and everyone he's ever loved without getting the closure that he needed, so on the night before his departure, he attempts to see minghao once again.----a song fic based on reese lansangan's "an opportunity to go to the moon" ((she's a filipino singer and i highly recommend this song +++ it's in english !!))
Relationships: Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	an opportunity to go to the moon

**Author's Note:**

> okay disclaimer: i dont know anything about astronauts and space and how it all works... it's pretty much just a fever dream translated into writing. enjoy !!

_i'm gonna move to the moon_

_i'm leaving everyone soon_

junhui stared out of his window. he was leaving soon, abandoning his previous life that was once everything he needed until the moon called out to him. 

he watched the twinkling lights of the city splayed outside of his bedroom. he counted the stars, imagining how many he would pass as he floated through space. "what would they look like up close?" he thought. he turned to one of his many books about stars and astronomy, fascinated by the ethereal photographs. but, he knew that they would look so much more beautiful when the stars were situated before him, when they finally become seemingly close enough to touch. 

like how minghao was. 

_but before i do_

_i gotta see you_

he snaps out of his trance, bitterness rising up his throat. " the moon would be nothing without you ". the thought ate up at his heart for the hundredth time today. on his desk, among numerous scattered notes, photos, and research papers, was a letter. 

he read it everyday, tracing his fingers on the paper as if he could uncover more from it with a mere touch. he wanted closure before his escape. 

he knew he wouldn't be truly free without seeing him again. 

_i'm writing letters to friends_

_calling enemies to make my ammends_

minghao wasn't a friend or a foe but junhui wrote to him, called him, tried to get in touch with him... but none of his attempts succeeded. 

junhui waited for  months . his anxiety grew and grew worse every single day. what if he had already left by the time minghao finally answered him? what if the answer to why he disappeared would be left abandoned in his mailbox right after his departure? 

_but before i fly_

_i gotta see you one last time_

he decided, fuck it. junhui was going to see him whether minghao liked it or not. it was nearing 3 am but he couldn't care less so he grabbed his car keys and ran out the door. the cold sting of the night on his skin didn't bother him, knowing he was just an hour away until he can maybe feel minghao's warmth again. 

_is it too late to come by your window_

_'cause i just have you on my mind_

junhui arrived at the familiar house. somewhere he escaped to when the moon was nothing but a dream. he walked up the lawn, shocked at the sight. everything was withered. 

minghao appreciated beauty. he wanted to surround himself in beautiful colors even when he stepped outside. but now, all junhui could see were barren branches and desaturated piles of dried up flowers on the wilted grass of his lawn. 

junhui looked up at the window of minghao's bedroom, grabbing a pebble off the ground to throw at it, hoping minghao would open it and peek outside with his disheveled hair and sleepy eyes. 

but there was no answer. 

junhui ran out of stones to throw at the now slightly scratched up window. he knew he had no option left but to barge in. 

he knew minghao always left a key for junhui hidden away somewhere only he would know. 

minghao was well aware of how much junhui loved space. he would paint the night sky and celestial objects for him numerous times, all different and magical each time. he would listen to junhui's endless stories about space exploration until he got tired of talking. and since minghao's home was an escape for junhui, he wanted to make it as "him" as possible, putting up posters, figurines, and all sorts of trinkets for him to feel like he's home. 

but this time, the usual hiding spots – the crescent shaped rug, the miniature telescope statue, and the other objects that junhui loved so much were gone. 

he had lost hope until he noticed that the door was left unlocked. 

he went inside without a second thought that he might be unwanted there, only feeling guilty once he turns on the lights to see the home now excrutiatingly simple. too simple and bland for minghao to reside in. 

the home had an eerie atmosphere that made junhui feel much more lonely than he felt before. had minghao left? he knew that maybe he hadn't because there were a few jackets hung up by the coat rack, shoes littered on the floor, and mugs left on the coffee table. 

his heart sank when he finally looked close enough to see a fine layer of dust all over the only signs that he was still here. but his months of waiting really tested his optimism. he had already gone this far and no speck of dust can destroy his hope. 

he took one of minghao's jackets as he felt too cold to even think. the oversized and colorful jacket enveloping his body so comfortably, still having minghao's scent on them. maybe he had worn it recently? 

"minghao? are you home?" junhui called out as he examined the place. he started climbing up the stairs, desperate for at least one sound because the house was too quiet. but all junhui heard was the sound of his boots and the desperation in his voice. 

he got to the door of minghao's bedroom, looking down to see the crescent rug that was missing from the front door. 

he opened the door by an inch, praying that minghao was sleeping soundly despite his noise. 

_that's why i'm making more room here inside of my rocket_

the gap remained at an inch, hesitant to open it further because of his heart beating too loudly in his chest. he was finally going to see minghao again. what was he going to say? how would minghao react to him? how was he going to explain everything and ask... 

_maybe you'd want to go with me?_

he knew that no amount of preparation in the world would be of use to him now so he just mindlessly opened the door and entered. 

it was empty. 

junhui started to feel tears going down his skin.  minghao actually fucking left.  not just junhui .  he left  everything  he had and loved . 

all of his favorite paintings were still hung up, unlike on the empty walls of the living room. his favorite records were still there, one record left on the player. junhui went and started it up, remembering the day minghao taught him how to use it. he soon heard music playing, filling the silence with minghao's favorite song. 

more tears descended down his face at the thought of not hearing minghao sing it again. maybe he would but only by the chance of minghao appearing before him, ready to go with him to the moon. they could sing as much as they wanted to right after take off. 

junhui lay down on the bed, remembering the times they slept there side by side when hours seemed endless. their time spent apart made those hours seem like seconds. he felt so comfortable on the bed that hugged him as if he was meant to be there, his heart fluttering at the familiarity of the room. it made him want to close his eyes in tranquility just for a minute. 

he accidentally fell asleep but got awoken by the sound of the record player malfunctioning, the constant scratching and restarting of the record disrupting his slumber. his eyes opened in surprise to see the machine producing smoke. he quickly tried to fix it but it was too old to be repaired. he sighed in frustration. 

he went up to the desk at the corner of the room, wanting to write a note saying how sorry he was for breaking it. he also wanted to write to him for the last time. 

he searched for a pen and paper from the drawers and while rummaging, he found his abundance of letters. every single one were opened. 

junhui was sad before but now he was furious. 

"all this fucking effort and you didn't even respond?" junhui said into thin air, shakingly taking out all of the letters and eyeing them all one by one. 

out of his anger, he starting ripping them apart. but upon the first rip, something fell out of the envelope. 

on his lap was a ring with the gemini constellation on it, each star represented by small faux jewels. he had never seen this before. maybe it was supposed to be a gift? 

he took each envelope and took out the contents, finding out that they weren't his letters. 

the writing was unmistakably minghao's. why didn't he send them? did he know junhui was going to barge in his abandoned home unannounced to find them himself? 

whatever minghao had planned, junhui had fallen for it. 

he read the first letter. 

then, the second. 

until he had read all of them. 

_i'm never coming home_

_leaving everything i've known_

junhui was overwhelmed by everything but four words could sum it all up. 

_"i'm never coming home"_

junhui was already sick of crying so his expression remained blank as the numb pain he had been feeling all these months restricted his breathing. he was back to square one. all he had to do now was accept that he will never see minghao again. 

_i'm flying out of here_

_breaking atmosphere_

_running out of air_

_breaking atmosphere_

junhui couldn't help but slam his fist on the desk, still holding on to the ring. the desk rattled and all of the things on top shook with it, some landing on the floor. 

junhui couldn't breath. when he thought he was tired of crying, he didn't know it was only the beggining. 

he felt his vision blur and before he even realized it, he was standing up and gripping onto the small desk. he used up all his energy to throw it at minghao's shelf of records. the destruction felt  so good.  his head snapped down to the pile of records on the floor when he heard glass break. 

he didn't notice that there were glass figurines on the shelves. he kneeled down to pick up the pieces of the planet figurines he loved so much, feeling angry at himself for breaking them. but, he only got angrier when he got cut by one of the shards. 

he stared at his wounded hand. the pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now. 

he was supposed to be free. he wanted peace but all he ended up with was even  more pain and a gash in his skin. 

he stood up and walked towards the bed, letting go of his body and falling on the mattress with a thud, hands frustratedly pulling at his hair. he looked up at the ceiling. there were dozens of glow in the dark stars that were too old to glow. he stood up on the bed and tore them all off, proceeding to throw them all into the pile of things minghao left behind. then he proceeded to the posters above the bed, tearing them all to shreds. 

this was everything minghao had done for him. junhui knew that he never really cared for astronomy before meeting him but he started to love it all because he loved him as well. 

everything was a mess. his desk, his shelves, the walls... broken records, glass shards, and torn wallpaper mirroring the chaos in his mind. the only few things left untouched were  the paintings . 

he wanted to make this room as empty as he was when minghao left. 

junhui grabbed one off the wall. it was a large abstract painting of a supernova. this was one of the first few paintings minghao made for him. it was so bright, colors meshing together that no photograph of the actual thing would ever amount to. 

he gripped it so hard that his knuckles turned white.  he couldn't destroy this.  but he wanted to oh so badly. he stared at the masterpiece for a while, frustrated tears running down his face. just when he thought he couldn't do it, he harshly threw it to the ground, stomping on the painting until he heard the wooden frames of the canvas break. 

the walls were now bare, the floor littered with snapped up wood and distressed canvas. only one painting was left. 

it had been staring at junhui the moment he entered the room. he didn't really notice it because it was covered by paint stained cloth, hiding the artwork. 

he walked over to the easel, bringing up a hand to take off the cloth. as the fabric dropped to the floor, junhui followed suit. he knelt in sorrow as the painting looked down on him. it was a portrait of him. 

an unfinished one. 

junhui scrambled to the thrown desk to look for anything that could stab through the canvas. he ended up with a box cutter, hoping it was sharp enough to cut through. he gripped the tool in his hands, ready to slash the material. that was until he felt something stop it, as if he was being held back by the wrists 

"please don't." a voice said. 

junhui turned around in fright. he looked everywhere until his eyes landed on the pile of minghao's most treasured belongings. 

he was there. 

perched delicately on the mess, holding his knees up to his face. 

"m-minghao are you–" junhui stuttered, not believing his eyes. 

"you know i'm not." minghao looked up as he said that, looking into junhui's cried-out eyes. 

junhui hated the sight he saw. for the first time ever, he hated minghao's eyes. they were so  empty . nothing like what he used to lose himself in. 

"i know you hate me but please don't destroy that..." minghao begged. he got up from where he was sitting to pick up the painting. 

junhui was all sorts of confused as he backed away in shock, tripping on himself as he fell on the bed. 

"i'm sorry." minghao said, walking towards the other boy after he placed the painting back on the wall. 

averting his eyes, junhui didn't want to look at the ghost. he wanted to see minghao's real eyes. the ones that were full of life. 

he came all the way to see him but now that minghao was in front of him, he didn't even want to steal a glance.  this wasn't real. he's not minghao. he's already gone. 

minghao wanted to cry but all that registered on his face was a permanent look of regret. one that will stay with him forever. 

"junhui, please look at me." he begged once more. the other boy was now gritting his teeth and choking on his breath, not wanting to show weakness in front of him. junhui hid his face in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees, quietly mourning. 

if he had only knew before it happened. 

minghao's cold hands uncovered his face, forcing the other boy to look at him dead in the eyes. when junhui saw that heart wrenching look on his face, he quickly shut his eyes, unable to bear what he saw. when minghao disappeared from him, he wanted him to be happy. even happier than he himself could ever be. not this. 

junhui suddenly felt a pair of cold lips on his own. the kiss colder than the air outside. 

but it was still a kiss with minghao. the very last one. 

he completely surrendered to him, relishing in the cold feeling. tears escaped his eyes as he kissed the boy dearly, never wanting to stop. he was going to miss his touch so much. he wanted to pull him into his arms but when he tried, he felt nothing, arms grabbing onto air. he couldn't hold down the sounds of grief that escaped his mouth when they broke apart, bringing a shaking hand up to his lips. 

he was alone again. 

he couldn't stand being in the house anymore so he fled, not looking back. almost tripping down the stairs because of how fast he ran. 

once he was inside his car, all he could do was rest his head on the steering wheel, still too emotional to calm down. 

then he realized he was still wearing minghao's jacket. he wanted to violently rip it off him but he couldn't bring himself to. he just sat there, pulling at the fabric covering his hands, trying to calm down and even out his heavy breathing. while he was playing with the fabric, he noticed that the ring was somehow placed on his finger.  minghao was really there . 

he took one last look at the house. it was pitch black outside when he arrived but now the sun was slowly creeping up, painting the exterior of the house with sunlight. 

and for a glimpse, he thought everything was back to normal with minghao painting at his front yard, surrounded by the colorful plants and flowers. it was the sight junhui would see every saturday morning. 

_i am never coming home_

_moon will cradle me home_

he averted his eyes right away, not believing the scene playing out before him. 

and with that thought, he stepped hard on the gas and drove away. the moon was waiting for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter !! i'm also a fanartist,, check out my works there !! ~ @oddeyecarat


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